The day I got the call that “today” was gonna be the day that I would no longer have my mom, we all loaded up and ran to Vicksburg to see my mom for the last time we would ever see her “living”. Seeing her all tubed up and swollen and trying to say goodbye through a window not getting to touch her, not getting to tell her goodbye, not having my mom‘s hug that she’s so well known for and the comfort of letting her know that you were physically there, I got to say my goodbyes through a window that was tough, I honestly don’t care what i would have had to put on to go be with my mama , I don’t care what I would have had to pay i would have done it to have a proper goodbye to my mama! After our last visit was over I went home to my dads house, my dad asked me to clean up in his room on mom side of the bed, I found all of her Bibles.
She has three of them but you can tell the one she used it had no front or back cover it was one she had since she was about 15, she had her hand written notes in it, all of her highlighted items that she found she needed, I picked it up and it fell open to a page only one thing was highlighted on that page it was Matthew 9:21 if you don’t know the Bible verse, the Bible verse says
“for she was saying to herself, “If I only touch his garment I shall get well.”
My mom realized I needed that Bible verse I read it that day and I cried, but honestly it didn’t help me that day it was the days to come that it would help me when I would learn the understanding that when my mom‘s oxygen dropped like it did she got a taste of heaven and when she got that small taste of heaven she didn’t want to come back she was finally healed. Today which is May 15, 2022 I looked back at that picture that I took of that Bible verse on September 18, 2021 at 4:52 PM and I read the next verse that was not highlighted Matthew 9:22 says “but Jesus turned seeing her said, daughter take courage; your faith has made you well. And all at once the woman was made well.” I am slowly and I mean slowly recovering from the loss of my mom I don’t go a day without thinking about her, I don’t think I will ever go a day without thinking about her I can’t go to the grocery store without thinking about the food pantry that I helped her in, I can’t cook a meal without thinking about the things she told me, I can’t see a you struggling mom without thinking my mom would go over there and give her some words of wisdom and/or a hug, I can’t talk to my dad without a mom‘s name Terry being brought up. My mom taught me so much and I’m so grateful but she has truly opened my eyes to so much after losing her, she’s still teaching me through all her hints she drops from heaven. Thanks Mama I love you!
- Kimberly Sanders 5/15/22